On the brink of my own marriage, an upcoming wedding and my happily ever after with the man of my dreams I do have to take a moment to consider what this all means.
Marriage is a decision we have taken into consideration after years of living together and loving each other. Marriage is what my significant other and I are deciding on together. It took a lot of courage for him to ask me on our first date and, by the way he was shaking afterwards, a ton more courage for him to ask me to be his soul mate. First and foremost we believe in equality, only yesterday I said I would follow him if he has to move for his career because I love him, I am there for him and as his fiancée will always encourage him. He corrected me and said it is not me following him but us going together. We are a team, we are one, we accept each other’s faults and do not judge each other on them because honestly I am not perfect and neither is he but we are wonderful for each other.
Now, if anyone knows how we work as a couple knows that we have a very creative and sometimes alternative lifestyle. We explore all options within reason between the two of us and have never felt awkward to say exactly how we feel or to ask for something different or new. Our relationship is perfect for us, many people will look at us and wonder how our relationship works, and honestly it’s not up to them to worry, it is only up to us. My man and I often look at situations in life observantly and in an introverted manner. We are the quiet ones who are also the creative ones who, rarely, but still do perk up and explode with comebacks of comical genius. This is not to say we are boring in any way, not at all, we just prefer one-on-one conversation on a more intellectual level or technical or psychological or scientific levels. As many couples are one or the other I rule with my heart and he rules with his head. We are adventurous, forever young at heart and both have a very witty and at times dark sense of humour.
Natural to us is him out on a boys’ night where I make sure he has eaten something, made sure his phone is charged, checked to see where he’s going to start off the night in case I need him I know where to find him and to give him endless love when he comes home with the drunken munchies with a few too many MacDonald’s burgers in tow.
Natural to us is me on a ladies’ night where I we may end up at a club, he checks in to tell me he loves me and asks if he needs to call me a cab at the end of the night. When I arrive home he often has a chocolate waiting for me and we cuddle as the room spins for me.
Natural to us is getting home on a Friday afternoon with no plans and deciding on the spot, even with a coin toss what our night has in store for us. We end up at dinner at a restaurant we hadn’t tried before, trying a new liqueur or bottle of red. We have endless conversations and often are so engrossed we take ages to order food and drinks. We are spontaneity.
Natural is not scorning, snooping or mistrust. Many people think this is how to find out things about your partner, not us, we retract from criticism and argumentative nature. We have never spoken badly, sworn at or belittled each other. We will never set each other up for failure, we only have each other and our combined best interests at heart.
Natural to us is me, his future wife waking up with the sun on weekends, ensuring the house is clean and errands run, food prepared and coffee brewing. He wakes around noon and we sit over a good cup of coffee discussing what our weekend holds. I enjoy the role of the 21st century Stepford Wife. I willingly wash, cook and clean and he does not take advantage of that, he accepts and enjoys my ways. This allows me to be who I am when I am at home and out with friends. I let him be exactly who he wants to be because that person he is, is the person I fell in love with all those years ago, knowing he is stubborn, cool and calm and headstrong I love him still. He fell in love with an overly emotional, enthusiastic, ball of positivity. We have commonality where we are dreamers, we see the best in our peers and are extremely loyal.
We will move into the next stage in our life with such excitement and zest. We will always have each other as pillars of strength and someone to talk to when we need advice, calming down, love or just a genuine response when we need to talk. I can already see him being more interactive and loving towards me in situations, where before he was fairly neutral or he thought with his head, he is now thinking more with his heart, he is in love with me. I am in love with him and it feels absolutely amazing. Our love is our own, if people question it I can answer with a confident, “no one on the outside will ever know exactly how a relationship between two people work, only those two involved.” I take that line and ensure I am not a statistic who judges other’s relationships either, however if it is truly evident that the relationship is not working or one or both of the parties involved are truly unhappy I am also a friend who can raise my hand as an indication that I am there for my friends, of course I do not encroach, I simply make it known that I will be there at any point for the people I love.
Our differences, our similarities and our drive to seek out what is new, exciting and different will constantly motivate and positively feed our relationship. No one ever expects us to do “the done thing” or mainstream or follow trends, culture or society. We do as we please and it pleases us very much.